Saturday, March 29, 2008
Captured and Logged
Sitting at T's dorm on base and looking up some research for my gender projects paper. I am using free wireless connection from the bar that's on base. I just looked up Sugarbutch Chronicles, hit enter and WARNING!!!! DANGER WILL ROBINSON!!!!! The 56th Squadron does not authorized this type of website. My "session information has been captured and logged". Dear goddess!!!!!! Whatever shall I do? Cuba just allowed it's citizen's to have cell phones, but they are communist, so all is explained, but we are in the US. Where are the rights? Fuck this place. Fuck a government who can claim freedom and yet still oppress it's people. Fuck the 56th and all it's tyranny!!!
There's So Much to See
I'm not even sure where to begin. It's not been a long time since I wrote, just since I posted. School's been a fucking busy mess. I started a new class, English 102.
Fuck. The nasty ass guy behind me keeps sucking his bugers up his nose. If he were one of my kids, I could tell him to get a kleenex, but what's a girl to do in this situation? Maybe he didn't have no mama to learn him that sucking mocos up your nose is definitely not polite. Plus I have this thing with bodily noises. I can't stand most of them. I really like the sound of a fart though, in case anyone was wondering. Jesus, make it stop!! I can't even write about tolerance, which was what I was about to articulate, without being temporarily intolerant.
Maybe prayer is a good idea. "Dear Jesus, please plug up this guy nose, so I can stop hearing his wrong noises. And while you are around, grant me the strength to be tolerant to nose sniffling." Whew. That felt great!! So, back to what I was saying...
Yes, composition class. I hate writing about what is not in my head. I have to have time to wrap it around my soul. That's why, I feel a little alright about this class. I get to choose the subject. I have chosen to argue the wrongness of gender as a binary system and I have a gazilion thoughts, from my everyday experiences to watching my gf question the very existence of hir on this earth.
I think I need to start with my friends reaction to an article in The Advocate about an FTM having a baby. Obviously this man, and yes he is legally a man, (I have alot of thoughts on that alone) still has his uterus and vagina. My online moms networking group caught hold of the article and had some strong and ignorant views and also some intelligent and insightful. I guess, unless you have had cause to think, read, talk about trangenderism, you don't. I do. I live in a world where I know FTMs and MTFs and people who want to transition, people who don't feel complete in their own bodies, people who are afraid to be themselves, for fear of ridicule, persecution, and possible homicide. Here are some of the comments:
Let's start with the title of the thread.. "Speechless"
I have to question this. What is it you are afraid of Jenny? Are you afraid that this man somehow de-feminizes you? And for that matter what is femininity? The clothes you wear? The haircut you style every morning? The household chores you perform? The scent you adorn? The job you have? The way you sit? Your biological parts? Your "maternal instinct"? Your ability to have a baby? Who chose for you that those things are feminine? You were raised in the image of your mother of what is femme, what is ladylike, what is acceptable to THIS society. Break that mold, think outside the box a little.
"I consider myself to be very progressive and open minded, so I don't like to admit that it kind of creeps me out."
Again, Jenny, what are afraid of? Stop thinking about it and let it be.
"He's got all the right parts still to carry a baby, weird and awkward as it might be..."
What is weird and awkward, Chris? The newness? I have to agree with Karen MS that pregnancy is biological, not social. When we give so much attention to something as biologically simple (and complex) as this, we fail to normalize it. A uterus is meant to be the place in the body where fertilization and nourishment of a fetus takes place. This man has a uterus, why not use it? You did. Does it matter what your haircut or body type is?
"I just don't like the 15minutes of fame aspect to all of it; makes one wonder the motivation about the whole thing to some degree."
I think this statement, by far makes me the most uncomfortable. Do you know what kind of planning had to go into this? How many pro's and con's had to be weighed? When a born-as-woman finally comes to grips with the fact that she doesn't like what she's looking at in the mirror every morning and finally has the courage to do something to change hiroutward image to reflect hir inward feeling, ze has already thought about the societal repercussions of such a decision. Then to have to come back and think, wow, I am capable of carrying this child, but what could happen to my family? This man could be KILLED, his wife, his child, could be KILLED for something so biologically right. So as far as 15 minutes of fame, unless this guy is a sociopath, he doesn't have a want to die. Would you put your family in danger without thinking, thinking and rethinking? I am sure fame is the opposite of what this guy is looking for. I wouldn't be surprised if he has received many death threats already.
"Pregnancy - as a biological, rather than social issue - may seem different. But if women can chose their biological destiny and choose not to have children, is it so wrong for a man to want to? Personally I think if we could accept people anywhere on the spectrum of sexuality rather than trying to assign them space on the two ends, the world would be a happier place."
I have to say one of the more well-spoken comments of this thread. And without leaving out Karen BF, I agree with you that some straight, sensitive men would love to feel a baby kicking inside of him.
"other than uterus what other parts are still available to help with the birth part or will c-section be required?"
Jeanette touched on this a little. A lot of FTMs don't get "bottom surgery". They do get their breasts removed and take testosterone which increases the size of the clitoris:
"[This effect is permanent] Amongst the first noticeable changes is clitoral enlargement, to varying degrees in all men. There are reports of between 3 and 8 cm when erect and sensitivity increases. For some men, the size becomes sufficient for penetration with a female partner (Gooren, 1999). If receptive intercourse is part of an individual's sexual behaviour, vaginal intercourse can become difficult and painful as the vaginal tissues usually become drier, less flexible and more fragile. If an unexpected blood loss occurs from the vagina at any time, the individual should immediately report this to the treating doctor for investigation." From ftmaustralia.org.
A strap on can do the trick with minimal invasion and no surgery. One might argue that one can't get pleasure from sexual intercourse because one is not bodily attached to this "cock", but I have to ask you ladies, do you get pleasure giving a blow job? Do you enjoy the noises, movements and ecstasy of your partner? I would venture to guess that you do, or else you wouldn't do it. I love taking my partner to that place. It feels just as good, but in a different way. At any rate, this portion of my rant is not to turn anyone on, (me included, so I have to stop now), but to show you that there are ways to get around that "bottom" surgery.
The rest of my point is that this man still has all of the biologically necessary organs to carry and birth a child. Breastfeeding is another issue.
My last thought is on what makes this man a man. How is it that lack of breast tissue and an increased amount of testosterone can make someone a "man"? Who decided this and why did the rest of us agree? Not that I don't think he should have the right to be married and share in those special rights, but why doesn't the rest of the queer community have those same rights without having to alter our bodies to get them? Food for thought my friends.
If we can drop the "normal" attitude and just see the world around us as multicolored, as so many of us can see it as multi-ethnic, and accept what we see, then what is "creepy" becomes "normal".
Can someone help me down from this soapbox, I'm lonely...
I think at the beginning of this post I had more specific life issues to talk about, but now I am lost on those. Until tomorrow, my friends.
And PS, praying may have done the trick...No, wait, it was my headphones that finally drowned out The Sniffler.
Fuck. The nasty ass guy behind me keeps sucking his bugers up his nose. If he were one of my kids, I could tell him to get a kleenex, but what's a girl to do in this situation? Maybe he didn't have no mama to learn him that sucking mocos up your nose is definitely not polite. Plus I have this thing with bodily noises. I can't stand most of them. I really like the sound of a fart though, in case anyone was wondering. Jesus, make it stop!! I can't even write about tolerance, which was what I was about to articulate, without being temporarily intolerant.
Maybe prayer is a good idea. "Dear Jesus, please plug up this guy nose, so I can stop hearing his wrong noises. And while you are around, grant me the strength to be tolerant to nose sniffling." Whew. That felt great!! So, back to what I was saying...
Yes, composition class. I hate writing about what is not in my head. I have to have time to wrap it around my soul. That's why, I feel a little alright about this class. I get to choose the subject. I have chosen to argue the wrongness of gender as a binary system and I have a gazilion thoughts, from my everyday experiences to watching my gf question the very existence of hir on this earth.
I think I need to start with my friends reaction to an article in The Advocate about an FTM having a baby. Obviously this man, and yes he is legally a man, (I have alot of thoughts on that alone) still has his uterus and vagina. My online moms networking group caught hold of the article and had some strong and ignorant views and also some intelligent and insightful. I guess, unless you have had cause to think, read, talk about trangenderism, you don't. I do. I live in a world where I know FTMs and MTFs and people who want to transition, people who don't feel complete in their own bodies, people who are afraid to be themselves, for fear of ridicule, persecution, and possible homicide. Here are some of the comments:
Let's start with the title of the thread.. "Speechless"
I have to question this. What is it you are afraid of Jenny? Are you afraid that this man somehow de-feminizes you? And for that matter what is femininity? The clothes you wear? The haircut you style every morning? The household chores you perform? The scent you adorn? The job you have? The way you sit? Your biological parts? Your "maternal instinct"? Your ability to have a baby? Who chose for you that those things are feminine? You were raised in the image of your mother of what is femme, what is ladylike, what is acceptable to THIS society. Break that mold, think outside the box a little.
"I consider myself to be very progressive and open minded, so I don't like to admit that it kind of creeps me out."
Again, Jenny, what are afraid of? Stop thinking about it and let it be.
"He's got all the right parts still to carry a baby, weird and awkward as it might be..."
What is weird and awkward, Chris? The newness? I have to agree with Karen MS that pregnancy is biological, not social. When we give so much attention to something as biologically simple (and complex) as this, we fail to normalize it. A uterus is meant to be the place in the body where fertilization and nourishment of a fetus takes place. This man has a uterus, why not use it? You did. Does it matter what your haircut or body type is?
"I just don't like the 15minutes of fame aspect to all of it; makes one wonder the motivation about the whole thing to some degree."
I think this statement, by far makes me the most uncomfortable. Do you know what kind of planning had to go into this? How many pro's and con's had to be weighed? When a born-as-woman finally comes to grips with the fact that she doesn't like what she's looking at in the mirror every morning and finally has the courage to do something to change hiroutward image to reflect hir inward feeling, ze has already thought about the societal repercussions of such a decision. Then to have to come back and think, wow, I am capable of carrying this child, but what could happen to my family? This man could be KILLED, his wife, his child, could be KILLED for something so biologically right. So as far as 15 minutes of fame, unless this guy is a sociopath, he doesn't have a want to die. Would you put your family in danger without thinking, thinking and rethinking? I am sure fame is the opposite of what this guy is looking for. I wouldn't be surprised if he has received many death threats already.
"Pregnancy - as a biological, rather than social issue - may seem different. But if women can chose their biological destiny and choose not to have children, is it so wrong for a man to want to? Personally I think if we could accept people anywhere on the spectrum of sexuality rather than trying to assign them space on the two ends, the world would be a happier place."
I have to say one of the more well-spoken comments of this thread. And without leaving out Karen BF, I agree with you that some straight, sensitive men would love to feel a baby kicking inside of him.
"other than uterus what other parts are still available to help with the birth part or will c-section be required?"
Jeanette touched on this a little. A lot of FTMs don't get "bottom surgery". They do get their breasts removed and take testosterone which increases the size of the clitoris:
"[This effect is permanent] Amongst the first noticeable changes is clitoral enlargement, to varying degrees in all men. There are reports of between 3 and 8 cm when erect and sensitivity increases. For some men, the size becomes sufficient for penetration with a female partner (Gooren, 1999). If receptive intercourse is part of an individual's sexual behaviour, vaginal intercourse can become difficult and painful as the vaginal tissues usually become drier, less flexible and more fragile. If an unexpected blood loss occurs from the vagina at any time, the individual should immediately report this to the treating doctor for investigation." From ftmaustralia.org.
A strap on can do the trick with minimal invasion and no surgery. One might argue that one can't get pleasure from sexual intercourse because one is not bodily attached to this "cock", but I have to ask you ladies, do you get pleasure giving a blow job? Do you enjoy the noises, movements and ecstasy of your partner? I would venture to guess that you do, or else you wouldn't do it. I love taking my partner to that place. It feels just as good, but in a different way. At any rate, this portion of my rant is not to turn anyone on, (me included, so I have to stop now), but to show you that there are ways to get around that "bottom" surgery.
The rest of my point is that this man still has all of the biologically necessary organs to carry and birth a child. Breastfeeding is another issue.
My last thought is on what makes this man a man. How is it that lack of breast tissue and an increased amount of testosterone can make someone a "man"? Who decided this and why did the rest of us agree? Not that I don't think he should have the right to be married and share in those special rights, but why doesn't the rest of the queer community have those same rights without having to alter our bodies to get them? Food for thought my friends.
If we can drop the "normal" attitude and just see the world around us as multicolored, as so many of us can see it as multi-ethnic, and accept what we see, then what is "creepy" becomes "normal".
Can someone help me down from this soapbox, I'm lonely...
I think at the beginning of this post I had more specific life issues to talk about, but now I am lost on those. Until tomorrow, my friends.
And PS, praying may have done the trick...No, wait, it was my headphones that finally drowned out The Sniffler.
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