Hey Fat Man!!

Why do you constantly want to pick fights with me around your girlfriend? You don’t have to prove the size of your dick to us. (Un)Fortunatly, we both are in the know. By the way, if you keep eating like that, it will be harder to find your dick. No worries though, a man really isn’t measured by the size of his cock, but by how he treats his family, how he provides for them, how he shows love for them. There, my for-custodial-purposes-only friend, is where you really lack. I hate to say it, but being a man doesn’t really fit your boy-size body. (Oh, by the way, I cut the footies off your jammies this morning. The hole left by your machete for a toenail, was un-mendable.) So stop picking fights with me. I didn’t do anything, but walk up onto the porch while you and your gf were talking about something amazing like Justice League or Batman or world peace. (I threw that last one in to be funny..) It makes her uncomfortable, which is why I don’t fight back. Also, I find your third chin a little distracting because it and the second one flap together and compete with the visual space that is your mouth and I can’t figure out where the words are coming from. Congrats on the chin pubes though. Where’d you find a place that would implant leg hair onto so many layers of face? Anyway, have a good night. As always, hope your dreams are full fuzzy unicorns and buxom babes in leopard print.

To You: Excerpts From Anne Sexton

Love? Be it man. Be it woman.
It must be a wave you want to glide in on,
give your body to it, give your laugh to it,
give, when the gravelly sand takes you,
your tears to the land. To love another is something
like prayer and can’t be planned, you just fall
into its arms because your belief undoes your disbelief. <– Anne Sexton

I have learned so much over the last nine months about myself, my world, my life, my behaviors and my connections to them all. I can tell you my journey has only just begun and will only end when I die. I measure my life in what I envision will be said about me after I die. My legacy, I suppose.

(Totally incomplete, but as I stare at it, I can't remember my train of thought, so I end it now. Unfinished.)

Soft, Loud, Obnoxious, Appropriate

I am truly alone in this world. And that’s okay. I have a wonderful girlfriend. I have three beautiful boys. I have a D. I have a home and friends I can lean on. My life is complete. So what am I getting at? I am alone in my thoughts. Nobody else is in my head. There are not many mind readers in my realm. Therefore, I must learn to be clear in what I say, what spews from my brain to my spout. It’s not that I don’t think about what I need to convey, I think I over-think it. Then I vomit words and I have to clean them up before I can really get to the core of what I am trying to say. Sometimes, I feel like I should stop talking altogether, like Chuck. (Amazing Grace and Chuck, an awesome 80’s movie) Of course, Chuck stopped talking in protest to nuclear warfare. That’s beside the point. I am learning. My life is a journey. I remember being a kid and speaking so softly that my teachers used to have to tell me speak up. Then, when I finally found my voice, my family liked it better when I was a mute. Not to mention that I mostly didn’t think before I spoke. I am blunt; bet you didn’t know that. So then I had to learn that there is a time and a place for certain words, comments, suggestions and the like. Now here I am, having learned all these lessons, and now I must learn to just process enough, not over-process. I have to learn to be concise and eloquent. I won’t always make sense, but I will certainly try. Oh, except here, on this blog. It’s my place to ramble, to spit out whatever is on my mind. This is my lesson of the month. I should write a lesson learned every month, although, I think I may be learning them more frequently, since I am open to suggestions!!