Wednesday, September 15, 2010

The Next Right Action

It has become apparent that I am the cause, root and be all end all of my problems. No surprise right? But nobody likes to look at themselves and acknowledge that. I did and now I am confessing it to all of you. I am it. I make my problems. I solve them, in by no means the best way possible, but with the only tools I have ever known.

Some words one never wants to hear, "I love you, but I don't know how to feel. You make me feel so guilty." And I do. I have done it to all my lovers. The only tool I have to fix that is silence. I just won't talk about it. That way the other person thinks all is peachy, while I struggle to convey my feelings without anyone feeling guilty. That actually doesn't work either, but what else do I have?

This isn't a poor me post. I am responsible for making men feel small, pissing off all of my relatives and pushing away my girlfriend. Just me. Not her. Not anyone else.

So tell me, what is the next right action?