Saturday, December 26, 2009

I Just Can't Seem to Shake This

I am trying not to still hate Christmas. I think for the first time in a long time, the kids had the full magic of Christmas morning. I didn't though. They let us sleep in until 7. Exactly. Then when they came to wake us up, TK got mad. I had to whisper in her ear that it was her idea to get up then and that it was Christmas. So she was grumpy from the moment we woke up. I was trying to keep a light tone, but she kept bringing it down. Was a super hard day for me. Normally, I would have been sad to let the kids go with him, but yesterday it was a relief. I will be happy when all this shit has passed. I made a wagon wheel coffee cake, a tradition for my family, another thing I haven't done in several years and I made breakfast. Was OK, but there is this heaviness that is hanging over the house. Something uncommunicated. Something so sad. I hate it and I hate Christmas. I guess I was really hoping she would be my Christmas star, some light on this shitty time of year, but she was darker than me. I just want to be normal. I don't want to think about what I am eating, how many resources I am consuming, my kids exposure to brain numbing media. I just want to be the same as everyone else, just for a bit. Then my family would like me. Then I would not be so alone in a world that thinks all I ever do is preach. I want to wake and and be back in classes and worry about that stuff so I don't have to deal with this stuff. I hate Christmas. PS Jesus wasn't even born this day, so all those stupid cards are just an ad ploy.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

The Number One Reason I Hate Christams

TK left the house today in a self-loathing rage. She barely said goodbye and she blew at least one stop sign, which means also that she is gonna speed the whole way to work. Why? you ask. Well, I will tell you. Money. And not the money to pay the bills because that's done, but money to buy gifts. Obligation. She doesn't want to be perceived as the poor sister. It's Christmas, that's just what you do. Who fucking says? Why is it that Americans are forced to grow up with this STUPID notion that Christmas is all about who gives the best gifts? Fuck everyone who teaches their kids that a store bought, designed obsolete, polluting, plastic pieces of shit are better than anything handmade. All these people who are getting second jobs to buy their kids the next big landfill item, remember these toys are designed to fall apart after so long or become last years technology. Also remember that the "happiness" that toy brings is fleeting and the "joy" of giving is forgotten once the credit card bills come in. Consider what it even takes to make all those toys and electronics. And so it begins, there is not enough money in the world to make someone happy, but there is enough LOVE. Practical and beautiful hand-made gifts can be the wave of the future and the way we save our souls and planet. We all have talents that we haven't tapped into. Reflect on this before you buy anything unnecessary. I can't tell you all enough how sad my heart is right now.

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Let's Talk About Sluts

It's a soapbox kind of day. Sorry.

Yesterday I was listening to the radio and the DJ's were talking about Tiger Wood's recent indiscretions. The woman DJ called his lovers sluts.

Two things:

Number 1: Tiger's private life is just that. He can do what he wishes, when he wishes. It is not up to the people to judge him, to say that he must be held to a higher standard because he is in the public spotlight. Dear people, you put him there. These are your morals that you are imposing on him, obviously not his. If he is not being an appropriate roll model to the children, too bad for you. He is a golfer. Why don't you try turning off your television and becoming an appropriate roll model for YOUR own children? I know, it's hard and you are not even in the public's eye, but I think you can do it.

Number 2: Why is it that the women who slept with Tiger are the sluts? They had CONSENSUAL sex. What makes only a woman a slut? Why can men have all the sex, without a label, that they want and even be exalted for it?

Argument 1: the Bible. Only Jesus was immaculately conceived, people. That makes Mary the only non-sex haver in the bible, until she birthed Joseph's non-Messiah kids. And lets get this straight, your Bible is full of incest, legal rape, legal murder and bastards. Abraham and Sarah were half siblings, sharing a father. Furthermore, up until recently, only the very rich could marry. That would have excluded most of us and all of the humbled Bible figureheads, including Mary and Joseph.

Argument 2: the very definition of slut. A slovenly and promiscuous woman. So she is dirty and likes to have sex. Hmmmm.... I am pretty sure that the women Tiger had sex with were not slovenly. (Having had sex with a pro-golfer for many months, I am somewhat of an expert on what they look for.) I am also sure that having sex does not make someone bad. Even having oodles of it. We've already surmised that not everyone is married, now lets look at why you are having sex, married or not and regardless of gender and sexual identity. It feels fucking good! That's why. Obviously, I am not having sex to make babies and neither are most of you. So there is no other reason when we boil it down. (Sorry if you are one of the people who aren't finding pleasure in consensual sex.)

There is no reason to label anyone who has sex. Not even with a famous person. There are many men, even famous one who have sex with people other than their wives, Republican senators with men, Presidents with interns, rock stars with fans, sports legends who spread AIDS, etc. and who takes the bad rap? The one with the vagina is always to blame. (Except in the case of the gay seducer.) The words of the local poet Selah may sum this up, "see, you may find a woman tempting, but that does not make her a temptress". Let's all change the way we think.

Who has the control?

Last weekend I went to the Tempe Arts Festival. I have been trying to only take the bus and rail or ride my bike at least one day a week, a commitment I upheld this day. After a hour and a half, I arrived in Tempe. Where the train let off was where the fair started. I went to cross the street, against the light with no traffic coming when I heard a man yelling.

"HEY HEY HEY!!!!"

I turned to see who was yelling and at what. To my surprise, it was a cop yelling at ME.

"You can't cross now", he said.

"Why not?" I asked. I told him I wasn't asking to be insubordinate, but because I was sure I was breaking no law.

"Do you see the little red hand?"

"Sir, what I see is you being condescending to me. Now what is the law I would be breaking to cross this street. I am at an intersection. There are no cars coming. So, so far, I am not jay walking nor am I obstructing or impeding traffic."

"I will write you a ticket."

"On what grounds, sir?'

"It's a..." He looks to his partner fro a little assistance.

"Isn't is a 28...6...46?", the partner says.

"Yeah, that's what it is."

So I did what any decent citizen should do. I googled a 28-6-4-6 from my phone. I check Maricopa county and Tempe police statutes to no avail.

"Thank you." I turned to a woman and her husband. She said that there was no reason for us to be held here and she again thanked me. I thought about just razing the crowd and having everyone cross, but surely I would be arrested or ticket for something riot like then.

"Sir, according to your website, this is your website, right?" I held the phone to him. "According to your website, there is no 28-6-4-6. Do you have anything else that might hold me here?"

"I will ticket you for going against a traffic light."

"Sir, I am not traffic. I looked both ways and behind to make sure I wasn't going to get in the way of a right turn. If I was in my car, I would most certainly not try to cross against the light."

Then the other one said something about making sure we don't get hit by a train. The train was behind me. I inquired if the train would be derailing and sliding into the intersection I was about to cross anytime soon. At that point, the light turned to green.

"Do you see the little green man now?" That was the sarcastic first cop.

I looked at him and I said, "Well, I see a little man." Then I crossed.

Before anyone gets defensive about their cop husband or wife or self, please note, I was respectful until his last sarcastic comment. I didn't and still do not believe I was breaking any laws by crossing an empty street. I also think that this man wasn't stopping me for my own safety, but instead for an unconscious need to control. I think this is a perfect example of the state's control over the citizen. Our government is getting away with being voice for the people instead of the people being a voice for our government.

The people have grown complacent and lazy. This may be an innate human condition for most, but not me. I am tired of keeping my voice quiet while a small minority of people make the rules for a large majority and I am so tired of the majority's apathy. This country has reverted to the monarchy we were before we fought the British for our independence. The congress and the Senate are the new Parliament.

What are your issues? What would you like to see done in this country? I, for one, would like to see true equality. I would like to see the people running the government, not the other way around. I would like to see this war for oil ended and the war on pollution started in a big way. I would like to see mpg laws for cars and trucks raised so much that all new cars MUST use hybrid technology. I would like to see an honest government who doesn't take money in exchange for votes, in other words, I would like to see lobbying outlawed. I would like to see an intelligent community thinking about future implications of their right-now-wants. I would like to see a day when I couldn't be arrested and suspected of terrorism for writing this blog. Thank you, Patriot Act. I would like to see that the government cannot limit the use of the Internet. Here are two articles I found:

http://newsmax.com/Newsfront/obama-internet-fcc/2009/09/20/id/335106


http://www.wired.com/epicenter/2009/09/net-neutrality-announcement/

I don't think all laws are bad. I want to have honesty and integrity upheld. I want the people, my friends, to remember that we are the voice! Start speaking!

Wednesday, December 02, 2009

Day 12 of Thirty Days of Gratitude



his plump little hand in mine,
but it won't be forever
as the baby fat leaves
his tiny fingers,
his need to hold
me close will also leave
I've seen it already
with the two slender fingered olders
for now though, I will
hold tight to the grime of his day