Too Exhausted to Make Sense

So I think KTJ and I are on the outs, but I am really not sure. She told me we could be "lover-friends". Whatever that means..Stupid stoney conversations. She says my relationships are too complex. In a way she is correct, I addressed this in my well-liked Boundaries blog. E and I are not doing so good. I am really sad about that. She's my girl and I really miss her. I am still just as dependable and reliable as I ever was, just can't move yet. I am on the job hunt again. God, there is so much to write about today that I don't even know where to start. I am falling behind in school work. I am a little freaked about that. The KTJ thing is on my mind. E situation abounds. My dad asked my sister if I was gay, then told her it didn't matter anyway as long as I was happy. Why couldn't he ask or tell me those things? And if he thinks it, my mom must, but she barley speaks to me, so that isn't a conversation we will be having anytime soon. Did I mention I am stressed about school. I should be reading now, but all U want to do is nap. I have an exam tomorrow. I have met several new woman lately. I also made out alot last night. It ws a bathroom 4some. I actually avoided kissing one of them, thank Goddess. Unfortunatly tho, one of them is KTJ's best friend and the other is the bf's ex. Oh, I think it valid to mention that KTJ knows and/or saw. I guess I pretty much fucked that up. In my defense, what little defense it is, KTJ was there with another girl. I am not sure if the girl was lez tho. She came off as straight girl to me, but she was all over KTJ, so I don't know.I haven't talked to KTJ since because I went way over my minutes this month. Like I'm thinking $50 over... Ouch. So I am on the hunt for a job and an apartment. I have to get out of this house, away from HIM. I have never lived on my own in a cozy little place and I think it's time I do that. Of course I would bring the kids, so I wouldn't be totally alone. HE will get them Tues/Thurs and every other weekend. I think it's better for the kids cuz HE is really mean to them. I hate HIM more and more every day. I am happy without a man in my life. The women in my life give me everything I need. Hmmm....I never thought about it like that before. There is really very little I need from a man. I like that. This is so random. Sorry for whoever reads it. Space Cadet out!