I polled several people at my local coffee shop and I took advantage of the drunks at the bar next door, then later friends on the phone (also drunk). Some of these are mine. My REALLY good friends will be able to pick them all out. No worries if you can’t pick them all out, it doesn’t mean I don’t trust you, just that I didn’t remember til now!! Don’t ask me to tell you who said what, because I would never. That’s the point. I’m like a priest and if you’re lucky....I will absolve you of your sins, my child.
~Thinking about Down’s syndrome kids when I see the crosswalk sign that says “Slow Children”
~Burning ants with a magnifying glass
~Accidentally killing a kitten in the dryer
~Loving retarded people for all the wrong reasons (Not sex, dumb ass)
~Having sex in my friends (plural) bed
~Having sex in my parents bed
~Looking at porn on my parents bed
~Masturbation
~I love midgets
~Pooping in the pool and blaming on someone else
~Wanting to lick my gf’s butthole, baby
~Losing my virginity at 13 to a 16 year old in the chapel of church camp in Estes Park, CO
~Having a 4some at a trailer park public shower when I was 14, the girls were 21 and they thought I was Irish
~One night stand on a bench in front of office max
~One night stand in New Orleans, she made me take my cross necklace off
~Gave a BJ to my boyfriend in the back seat while my mom was driving
~Watched my mom’s porn
~Used to fall asleep listening to Dr Ruth, when I was 6
~Stole 20 bucks from a homeless dude once, I was homeless at the time
~Had sex with my parents.......Russian exchange student....a lot
~Stealing from the store I worked at
~Having sex while my friends were having sex on the next bed over
~Cheated on a college assignment
~Told girls I was gay, so I wouldn’t have to date them
~I’m a lesbian and I hate Ani D
~Had sex in my sisters bed left the condom on her pillow
~Faked orgasms with my last gf
~Ended an 11 year relationship between two guys. The one I fucked before he went to prison, the other while the one was in the slammer. Fell in love with both...dropped them both when they fell in love with me.
~1st (5) gay experience(s) were with my girl cousins’ boyfriend. No worries, she’s a lesbian now and he’s in prison.
~My last gf hit a cat in my car and killed it. We drove away.
~Kicked my friend’s chair out from under her in the cafeteria at school. She fell on her ass.
~Paid my sister to make my bed every morning, took the money out of her piggy bank to pay her.
~Told my sister bird shit was a tootsie roll, she ate it.
~Once treated my sisters infected earring hole with dog penis cream.
~Used my parents mini van for “work purposes” when I was really meeting people I met on the internet.
~Cheated on my husband.
~Worked at a restaurant, when someone just wanted a smoothie, I accepted the money, as a tip.
~I knit while I drive.
~Used to give my sister swirlies.
~My barbies had better sex than I ever have, until now, baby!
~I only played with dolls that shit themselves cuz they were more masculine.
~I thought about fucking women while HE was fucking me.
~I used to give him mercy fucks and call them “Fuck Fridays”.
~Accomplice to adultery
~Breaking the law
~Smoking crank at my parents house.
~Lying and cheating in general.
~Saying God Dammit in church.
~Gave my brothers’ wedding speech while I was I high on coke.
~Fucking a dude in the Amsterdam parking lot, halfway out of the car. I was supposed to be following a chic home...
~Ended three hetero marriages with kids by fucking the wives....I still love all the kids.
~I used to spank the dolls my mom made me because I hated dolls.
~I licked my cousins vagina in the sixth grade.
~Sometimes I wish I had a penis so I could fuck my gf with it.
~I used to make Ken sodomize Barbie.
~I used to give my Barbie dyke haircuts.
~I only went to church cuz my grandma bought me donuts.
~Had sex in the church my sister-in-law got married in, in the room she got dressed in
Leave your confessions in the comments if you dare or drop me an email and I will post them for you. It will feel a whole lot better to get these things off your chest! We’re all going to hell on a short bus and I’m driving!
8 comments:
Did a line on the back of a toilet at a church dance.
First sexual experience was w/ a female cousin.
Had sex with one guy in a car in the desert then had him drive me to the next guys house to have more sex. The second guy was my ex, and he was good in bed. The first guy wasn't.
teehee, that was fun!!
last night my ex said I was the only person she ever wanted inside of her again. why can't we be together? i love her so much.
Why are you ex's then? I think, if you haven't told her how much you love her, you should. I wish you the best!
Hi, you are a really good writter, it helps to get everything down on paper and out of your own head it makes it more real. i am sorry your life seems kind of shitty right now, but don't worry there are always worse off people then you, I got fired from starbucks yesterday because I refused to sell my soul and actually act like starbucks is a meaningful job. that and I was sick of walking around on egg shells. your good at writting, even if you don't get the validation you are looking for and you desperatly want to hide away on a farm, and exscape from society don't forget that you can piss people off, and even if that is a lousy prize sometimes, it is better then feeling invisable, that and it helps you understand yourself better. because really who cares that much about cockroaches, but I thought it was cool that you directly associated their white entrials with sperm and baby making, only a lesiban would do that, I have seen tons of sperm and for me it never reminds me of babies, well maybe thats just because I haven't had anyyet. also I like ani defranco and i am not a leisban, I think she is a really good singer. I just wanted to write you a love letter, because i felt like you needed some encouragment, so keep doing what you are doing because i think eventually it will reveal alot more things about yourself, and be really healing.
just read this again after not seeing it for over a year...that was a fun night!!
I just spent ten minutes looking for this blog entry...still think it was a fun night!
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