I thought I was tanner, but I was just dirty!!

I just got out of a long, lovely shower. And home from a LOOOOOONNNNNGGGGG camping trip with just my boys. Wow, I never realized how much I need the company of other adults. On Friday after the tent was up, which A1 and A2 helped with, I made lunch, set up the sleeping bags, took a small walk until A1 got tired, made a fire, made dinner over said fire (vegan dogs on a stick; the kids had a blast with that one), cleaned up dinner, and waited for morning. In the middle of the night, a wind storm came and pushed the tent flat on top of us!! Nothing was broken and when I went outside to check, the wind was hardly blowing. Hmm. Then I saw that the embers were burning bright. That scared me a little because I am really afraid of starting a forest fire. (I thought the penis fear was queer , but I guess fear of starting forest fires is a little absurd too. ) Anyway, I tried to lay down, but then the tent was on my head again. I kept thinking it was like God's giant foot was stepping on my little head to tell me to go douse the embers. I got up, walked slowly for fear of waking bears, and watered the log. I felt so much better and was sure that there would be no more collapsing tent. Imagine my surprise when I laid down and God stepped on my face again... I fell asleep with the tent in my mouth. I slept for a good hour before the sun and sons rose to greet the day. I daydreamed for a few more hours. Mostly about sex and I could because they left the tent and were off exploring the surrounding cliffs. I masterbated and got up. haaaa. Saturday. Off to the lake for some sun right? I read the forcast and packed accordingly (bikini), but there was no sun and no tanning, but for a few minutes at back at camp. The kids played. I tried to drink but the Lynchburg Lemonade I bought was yuk, so there went that idea. Where was M.J. when you needed her most? I realized that I had cell service sometime in the night after I exuasted my remembered song library at the camp fire and read Bridge to Terebithia (hello!!! depressing!!!) to the kids. The neighbor campers, who were about a hundred yards away, were blasting some stupid music and I was texting J cuz he's the only person I could think of who would text me back. He asked me if I wanted to snuggle sometime, I didn't know what to say, so I told him I was going to try new things for a while. Woke up this morning. Waited for the kids to leave, touched myself again. Got up and packed up. Even though it was a leisurely time, I still managed to get everything done and be out by 10am. No shit. Anyone who knows me might think I am lying. I left the woods this morning with my boys who didn't want to leave. I know they had a good time and I guess that is what they needed. A little mom time. Who doesn't? Well me, my mom scares me. Wow alot of fears came out in this and some I actually deleted because I am not about to open up again, even to cyberspace. I know nobody reads this because only two people know about it, besides me of course. I think I will start reading other random peoples blogs and commenting just so they know someone cares. Now I am sitting in my house. No kids, not any more tan, but in my undies and a tank top with my wet hair over my back keeping me simultaneously refreshed and sultry. I would do it all over again. Even the no adults part. I even let the boys start the fire all by themselves while I was in bag. (Eat shit, Mama Q!!!!!!)