Rat Bastard

NEVER pose the question “What more universe, what more?”. Because the universe will answer you back with a vengence. All this shit keeps coming at me....seems more than my fair share. The wash machine, the electrical, the drains and leaky faucet in the bathroom, the really mean ex, the chewed through pipe in the kitchen. Chewed through by a rat, mind you. The job thing not working out. I just couldn’t fathom anything else, I mean really, how much can a girl handle before she wants to jump off the Tempe Towne Lake Bridge? Oh wait, is asking that the same as asking the aforementioned question? Goddess, I hope not! Let me just set this up a bit...

Driving towards home, but not going home. Had to get the dog license renewed. HE calls. Am I headed home? No. Will I be? No. Could I? What do you need Mr. P? (Mr. P is my new name for him, less negative than the Fat Man.) Just am I going home? NO! Well the house is being broken into and the police need one of us to be there before they take the K9 unit in and search for the man they believe is still in the house. What?

So that’s where this begins and really where it ends. Glass all over. Amelie, my dog, is alright, really scared and not much of a guard dog, but ok. (I believe, had we been in the house at the time of the break-in, her behavior would have been more aggressive. She is a very loyal doggy.) The snakes were ok. My windows and a door, not so much. Noting was stolen, but a small bit of my sanity and faith in humanity.

Forgot to mention, the K9 shit in my house. I couldn’t figure out why the police were taking out my kitchen garbage, until I put two and two together much later. I am not sure what they are feeding that poor animal, but even with all of our new ventilation, that stench was overwhelming for way too long.

So let this be a lesson to all of you, my friends. Always follow your gut. Never lock your doors if you cherish your windows. And NEVER, NEVER ask such a loaded question of the universe. She WILL answer you.