Monday, December 13, 2010
Status Update
Sometimes I want my status update to say, "Hating myself right now." But I don't really want to hear from people regarding that. I just want to get it off my chest. Not really loving myself lately. Feeling like all I do is not really right. It's wrong in fact. Except that I know I do things that are good and right, but I let the screw ups over shadow them. I haven't been like this in a long time. It's a familiar, sickening feeling. Unwelcome and uncontrollably here. I am 33. Shouldn't be in control of my emotions by now? Shouldn't I be able to resist the urge to cry? I feel like a damn teenager.
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3 comments:
We all have these days. Did you read my post about being a failure, I wrote it for ME but I did get some good slaps about it? I could have gone on and on about my shortcomings, and when I tried to write positive things I failed again. I have been feeling miserable about myself and totally disliking everything about myself.
I am sure that soon enough you will feel better. And you are awesome anyway.
You're not alone. I bottle it all up until I want to just scream to the world, with tears running black rivers down my face, "I hate myself!". Just to have said it out loud and not only in my head. It's a day by day kind of thing, the future is too unsure and unsteady, while the present is too scary. Deep breaths and lots of smiles. Even if they are fake. You might find yourself smiling by surprise one day. Loved reading this.
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