Fam Damnily

So I have removed myself from my maternal family.It really bothers me. Not because I miss them. They are assholes. Always waiting for me to fuck up. I am outing my family in this blog, telling those secrets that were never supposed to be common knowledge. Swept under the rug. Maybe that's what the problem is, my sister EM and I got pregnant before we married, the outcome is OUT, you can see it. Is that the difference? My cousins, who did much worse things than us, were treated like perfect princesses. At least two were arrested for big things, one for smuggling drugs across the Mexico/US border (she also had a baby before marriage) and the other for felony shoplifting. They all drank like fishes in high school and had mucho sex. I didn't do any of these things and yet I am the one singled out. I was reamed when I chose to be vegetarian. What the hell? Anyway, the last straw was a trip to Mexico, a funeral and the aftermath. EM and her friends went to MX for three day, I thought it would be fun to drop in on their party. E, A and I got there Saturday mid morning and left Sunday night. The house was left clean, money was left in the jar, nothing broken, nothing lost. The way we got it. A week later, Uncle B dies. About a month before this, UB came to me in an early morning dream and let me know he was sick and going to die. My mom called later that day and I told her I already knew. It was like I had made peace with my uncle. So he dies and I have plans to go out the Thursday of his viewing. I don't need to see his corpse. I get up super early for the funeral, drive to Tucson to attend. My bitch of a mother sat next to my dad's sister at the funeral ,but wouldn't make room for my dad. He had to sit alone. I went and made a small scene about sitting with him. Hung at my Aunt B's and visit with family. Most of the fam is outside in 100plus heat. No thank you. I stayed inside and talked very briefly to the people around who came in and out. Then I left. I had a silent auction to run at 4. Got home, had a fun night. Woke up and was hanging with E when, duhn duhn duhn, my cell phone rings, DWYER shows on the screen. "Shit, this can't be good." I said to E. "Um Hello?" It's Aunt B calling to give me a new asshole. Did I have fun In Mex? Were there any problems? Cuz usually people call her and tell her if there are problems. No problem I say. Well in that case, as far as she is concerned I can rent next time I'm down there. Eek, alrighty then. Phew, is that it? Not quite sista. "Now is there anything you need to say to me?" Strained voice, angry, angry. Not that I can think of. "Something that you could say to your cousins, so appalling, in my house, they felt they had to come and tell me right away?" (That's not exactly what she said, but pretty close.) Holy fuck, what could I have said and when? I was high at the funeral, but not the reception. Definitely not stoned then. At the grave site to the car, I said something to my dad about not wanting to be around the fam that much, cuz their version of giving a shit, is gossip. So that was it, a private conversation, on the way to my car, was overheard by my cousin and relayed to my Aunt as being had at the house. So my Aunt asks me "Why did you even bother coming?" How the hell do I answer that. Obligation brought me there? Once again, what the hell? Then as if that wasn't enough, she tells me "No one cares about you, yesterday was about Uncle B." Well then. I get it. So the aftermath, EM, who's trip to MX is was in the first place, does not even get one word spoken to her about not calling or about not attending the funeral. So, I enrolled in school, got a phat grant and am moving on with my life. Just without them. I will also be bridging the gap my mother made between me and my dad's family. All holidays were spent with mother's family, then dad's secondary. I know my cousins on m's side soooo much better, but I will try to fix that. I'm sorry dad that you have had to live with this shit for so long. Sever now. They're not worth the trouble.