Why can't I just FUCK?

I could have her. Or rather let her have her way with me. Tonight, tomorrow, whenever, really. But when I get close, and I have been very close, I can't do it. Is it morals? Fear? Maybe I just don't really like her that way. I like her attention, I admit it. I like that she thinks I'm hot. I even like that E doesn't like her, but she is so withholding. I can't get her to reveal anything. Is that the trick to casual sex? The less you know about the other person, the less of an attachment after sex. But I have a hard time getting off without attraction. What's wrong with me? I could have made a move on L last Thursday, but I didn't. My excuse was E was right there. But apparently, that was not the excuse Saturday night. I was shitty that night. I was selfish. Who gets that way in front of their friends? Never before and hopefully not after. That was so rude and kinda funny that it was me. I kept laughing because her line was classic. "We have nothing in common, but I think you're hot and I want to make out with you." And I did. Anyway, I thwarted her strong advances in the car, in the bathroom, at her house. I feel like I should just do it, for two reasons. Experience and (maybe a little) to get her gone. She's a nice girl, but she's right, we really are opposites. Then there's E. She keeps telling me NO. I have my own mind, but she has more experience than me. It's kinda like a first job. You take what you can get, to gain experience, then each job, you are better paid and happier. (Ha ha, I already hear the hooker jokes!) So fuck it.....right? My mind is jumbled. No real answer. No good advice. Maybe I will go to her party tonight for a while. Maybe I'll get fucked.