Open Mind, Open Heart

I have always thought of myself as very open. In every sense of the word. Accepting (as well as hella readable). I love so many people for so many different reasons. Have I ever passed judgement on someone I didn't know? Yes. I can acknowledge now that what I did was hurtful. This may not be the most coherent post; it's late and I haven't been stoney in weeks, but I am going to try to make some sense of my thoughts. I just finished reading an amazing book. To me this book is a story; I don't identify with the main character at all, but I have friends who do or possibly would if they read it. The story itself isn't as important to me as the lesson I learned from it. Words can be weapons, even unsaid words etched in a disapproving face can be so damaging. I have the capacity to love and yet I find, sometimes, I withhold it. The reasons are, I'm sure, many. Fear, mostly though. I fear that what I see in another that I don't like, judge, make fun of, what have you, is what I don't like in myself. Upon first sight, I see only physical manifestations of character. A gait, a feature, perhaps, clothing even. And based on that, I choose whether or not I want to get to know a person. How many amazing people am I pushing aside based on one sideways glance? A skewed view of who a person is based on a one second assessment? Is it possible to get to know every single person I see? Yes, I think so. Probable? Absolutely not. Based on a person's appearance, is it okay to decide not to get to know them? The guy at my interview today that walked by, he looked dim, a mouth breather, probably loves NASCAR, no wedding ring; maybe he's lonely. I just don't know and as you can see from the first word I chose to describe him, I don't really want to know. That is about as honest as I get. I'm a real asshole. I think every conscience moment, which if you really think about it, only a few moments in your life are actually conscience, I spend examining myself and my tendencies, will bring me closer to real acceptance for all humankind. I promise myself that I will try harder not to come to snap judgements about people because maybe I would like NASCAR if I gave it a watch. Maybe.