If...

If we met at a different time, if you could still play, if I didn't have so much school, if we would have let each other in, if I fought harder to keep us, if I just kept my knowledge of the kiss to myself, if we weren't intoxicated, if you didn't kiss her, if I didn't have expectations, if you weren't already cracked, would things be different?, would I be crying every day?, would you be sitting on your patio, smoking, wishing you were not here? So much of my pain is watching you struggle. It's nearly unbearable to see you hurting so bad. I wish I could take your pain on. I can handle it. I just want you to be happy. With or without me in your life. Thank you for all you taught me. Thank you for so many laughs. Thank you for your passion. Thank you for loving me and letting me love you.